Children's Books
When I became a Stay-at-Home Dad I realized much of what I had learned when I got my Psychology undergraduate degree was either impractical or nonsensical. Take “Unconditional Love”, which we are taught is what every good parent gives a child. The result of unconditional love is a person who needs constant positive feedback in later life, and gets upset when it is not given. I always tell my children that “No matter what you do, or what you say, I will always love you”. They know, however, that they can do things which are absolutely unacceptable and I will let them know, in no uncertain terms, that I disapprove or even that they are going to be punished as a result. They know I still love them, and hopefully have recognition of a parent’s role. Many parents falsely interpret “unconditional love” as being a blanket approval of anything their child does. This produces adults who are self-centered and are bewildered by a world that does not always approve of what they are doing.
This brings us to the second reason I wrote the book. Adult Psychology is short on social pointers. Over the years, I have noticed many people (myself included) who are not adept at the emotional give & take of adult companionship. It is hard to make friends if you can only talk about yourself or things that interest you. It is hard to socialize if you fail to see the needs of others. If we sometimes wonder why we are lonely, the answer may lie in our inability to empathize and give of ourselves.
I hope that parents will be able to discuss these ideas with their young children.
Bruce Healey's book "The Day Dad Ran Out of Kisses" is available for purchase at all major bookstores. To buy the book click here.
